Psycological Health

As I grow older and hopefully wiser, I have realized how important our psychological health is to us. We don't pay enough attention to our overall emotional health. Instead, we get caught up in how we are feeling. Having studied CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy, I feel better equipped to deal with my personal state of being. I also think I have become more adept at interacting with others.

CBT begins with the premise that stimuli in the form of events, sounds, and smells trigger us to feel something, an emotion. That emotion then affects what we think and what we do in response to the stimuli. The extent of the effect can be a problem for most people. With every emotion we experience, chemicals are released in our brains, and in essence, we become high with that emotion. Thus, one can become addicted to an emotion just like one can become addicted to a drug. That's a pretty scary realization.

In CBT, an event is also called a trigger because it triggers emotions, thoughts, beliefs, and actions. If we follow the chain of actions and successive reactions, we really want to focus on what happens after the trigger. Patterns of beliefs, emotions, and behaviors typically follow the same triggers. For example, a person enters a kitchen, finds a mate has left something out of place, and addresses the issue with the mate. A psychologically healthy person will remind the mate of the neglect and encourage the mate to rectify the trespass. In contrast, a psychologically unhealthy person will first get mad and then attack the mate for the neglect. The degree to which the person responds negatively to the trigger must be observed and rationalized. When a trigger causes an intense emotion that is in misproportion with the trigger, problems in personal health and interpersonal relationships will arise.

I chose the above example because it is a scenario that happens frequently within any household. We have all observed a spouse attack the other or a parent attack a child in a unhealthy or excessive manner. So, we have to ask ourselves how do we react and think when we face that same scenario. Do we behave positively or negatively?

Now, we don't have to be experts to practice the principles of CBT. We simply have to cultivate the practice of awareness. We must become aware of the triggers that affect us negatively, and we must become aware of the emotions, the thoughts, the beliefs, and the behaviors that result from them. Moreover, we should ask ourselves a simple question. Was our negative reaction an appropriate response to the trigger? I'm not advocating that we should never get angry or sad; emotions are appropriate and essential parts of our experience. We must learn to experience our emotions in ways that minimize the risk of harm to ourselves and our important relations.

The hard part is addressing the excessive behavior in others such as our spouse, our children, and our friends. The best advice I have been given is to observe the event and address the behavior at an appropriate time with the person who committed the act. We tell that person that we just want them to consider what we saw and what we thought about that behavior. The goal is to avoid an argument. We can't allow for explanations and rationalizations. We have to cultivate the ability to communicate. We want our observations to cause personal reflection. We don't want them to be a new trigger for the bad behavior. Yes, this is easier said than done, but it is worth our best efforts.